“We are each of us angels, with only one wing, so we can fly embracing each other.” – Luciano De Crescenzo

I LOVE the way the writer put it in words. We tend to underestimate the importance of the role people can play in our life. We are instinctively designed to come together and form associations & communities. Married or single, this applies to all. See, out of the billions of people on earth, we marry only one person (most of us at least). That one person might not meet all of our expectations.  Every person brings something to the relationship – be it the role of a Companion, Energizer, Mentor, Connector, or a Mind Opener. My recent read “Vital Friends” mentioned 8 categories. These 5 really stood out for me. 

Connect and Grow your Mind:

They say, when we build new connections on the outside, we build new connections (neural pathways) on the inside.  Our brain, the grey matter, grows and flourishes as a result.

Always good to hang out with old friends but it’s the “new” connections that help stimulate our mind, that keep it ALIVE.

Have least 4 quality friends and Live Longer:

Heart patients with less than 4 friends are at a major disadvantage when it comes to their life span, according to a research conducted by Duke University in 2001. Other factors such as stress, smoking, social status, didn’t seem to have as much of an impact.

Evaluate your relationships and Strengthen Them:

It helps to identify what “role” our friends/relationships play in our life and we play in their life. What each person brings to the relationship.

Build upon and nourish the friendships you consider vital and positive.

Look for ways to connect with the ones you lack in your life. It could be through work, local/social events, cafes, friends’ circle, volunteer opportunities, or organized meetup groups.

Push yourself out of your comfort zone, be proactive and open to getting to know the ones who seem to align with your “energy” and “life path”. This is key!

My Personal Journey:

I personally had to take some bold steps to fill this one of the biggest voids in my life a couple of years ago when, one day, I mustered up the courage to try one of the local meet-up groups (thru meetup.com). But before that I had to MOVE OUT of the area to find a place that offered such avenues. My first ever event was a new year’s dinner. I was nervous and didn’t know what to expect but pushed myself out of my comfort zone. I gave myself 20 min to assess if I was going to stay there or leave. It turned out to be a life changing event for me- in a very positive way.  Some of the people I met there definitely fall into the category of “Vital Friends” – my “Life Team”. We were all so unique in our own way but also were able to connect in so many aspects.

Not all interactions would have a fruitful outcome but you have to at least TRY! I had no choice, I had to TRY!

 I also met some of the fantastic people thru work. I can see them as my “fun” friends, “Connectors” and “Collaborators” with similar interests.  My journey doesnt stop here. People move on, go thru life changes and can get on different life paths. We need to calibrate and be on the look out for or create opportunities to

Final Word:

Strengthen existing Life Team members but be open to discover new ones. These friends/acquaintances can help us “stay in the present” and not have past experiences or events impact the current interaction.  The person I was ten years ago or even five years ago is different than the person I am today. I have gotten wiser and grown in so many ways. It only makes sense to find a support that aligns with our “present”.